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Wadiya

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Wadyia

Republic of Wadiya Wadiyan
Wadiyaflag.png Wadiya coatofarms.png
CapitalAl Waydia
Official language(s) Wadiyan
Recognised regional languages English
Ethnic groups (2014) Qalatani 70% Mixed 20% Bantu 6% Jew 2% rest 2%
Demonym Wadiyan
Government Single-party hereditary dictatorship
 -  Supreme Leader Haffaz Aladeen
 -  Founder Abrahamadeen
 -  President-for-life Omar Aladeen
 -  Founded 3698 B.C. (5636 B.A.) 
 -  Italian Occupation 1882 (100 B.A.) 
 -  German Occupation 1962 (20 B.A.) 
 -  Independance Declared 1962 (20 B.A.) 
 -  Dictatorship established 1963 (19 B.A.) 
Area
 -  Total 1,035,996 km2 
400,000 sq mi 
Population
 -   estimate 100,000 to 400,000 (1982 and 2014)
Currency Dollar ($) (USD)
Time zone East African Time (UTC+3)
Date formats B.A. (Before Aladeen)
Website
www.republicofwadiya.com
The Republic of Wadiya, (Wadiyan:Wadiyan) is a country in East Africa, bordering the Indian Ocean to the east, Djibouti to the northwest, Somalia and Ethiopia to the west and Kenya to the south.

Wadiya was founded by Abrahamadeen in 3696 B.C (or 5636 B.A.) and has since been subject to violent fighting, up until 19 B.A., after which the modern day single-party lead government was established under the rule of president-for-life Omar Aladeen. Since then, the country has been under strict rule of the Aladeen regime.

As a result, the Western states became increasingly critical of the supreme leader, His Excellency Haffaz Aladeen, who succeeded his father after legislative elections voted him as president with 99.999% of the vote. Due to his dangerous alliegance with nations such as North Korea, international relations and foreign investment in Wadiya has plummeted.

Despite allegations of multiple international crimes and the deteriorating human rights record, the Wadiyan government claims that the people of the republic are completely satisfied with their Supreme Leader, and Aladeen himself claims that he believes in democratic elections and equal rights to women. Wadiya continues to denounce any Western media critical of Aladeen's regime as "corrupt ZionCuntUnder the Aladeen regime, the country has become a minor tourist attraction, with several landmarks such as the Great Tribal Pyramid and the 3,000 year old statue of the Golden Fertility Go it has been recast as a statue of Haffaz Aladeen due to public outcry. Due to the lack of foreign investment, Aladeen has attempted to offer 400,000 square miles of desert land to countries wishing to test missiles or to dump chemical waste.

HistoryEdit

Shabazz

Haffaz Aladeen, the country's Supreme Leader.

According to the Wadiyan government, Wadiya was chosen by Abrahamadeen, the son of Adamadeen and Evadeen, to become the sacred land. According to mythology, the land was initially ruled over by a terrorist named Genghis Khant in 5636 B.A. Khan was easily defeby Abrahamadeen, by use of conventional and chemical weapons such as snake venom, rowan berries and urine.


Following the war, three nomadic tribes settled in Wadiya in 5600 B.A., though they never came across each other for thousands of years. The first encounter came in 280 B.A., in the indentured servitude of imperialist colonial work camps.

Wadiya was claimed as an Italian colony in 100 B.A., though this was seen as a mistake by the Italians, who identified Wadiya as the source of the potato famine. As a result, Switzerland controlled Wadiya after the Italians withdrew in payment of a truckload of cheese. At around 20 B.A., the Swiss paid Germany to take Wadiya as their own imperial colony, though Germany granted Wadiya independence as early as a few weeks later.

Samak Sharif was elected the 1st president of Wadiya following independance in 20 B.A., though he fell victim to two assassins from rival opponents hours after declaring Wadiya a beacon of hope and peace.

Omar Aladeen's birth in 19 B.A. was marked by a double rainbow according to Wadiyan sources, though there is no cunt how Aladeen achieved leadership of the state. Aladeen was referred to as a living god descending straight to the throne.

GovernmentEdit

Wadiyapresidential

Aladeen addressing Wadiya at the Wadiyan presidential palace.

Following independence, Wadiya has been established as a republic with a single-part lead government after the assasination of Samak Sharif. Omar Aladeen became supreme leader in 19 B.A. The Wadiyan government continues to claim that Omar and other members of the Aladeen family decended directly from heaven into Wadiya as supreme leaders in order to raise support and approval.

Omar Aladeen was killed by stray bullets and a grenade during a hunting accident, leaving his seventh son, Haffaz Aladeen, in line as leader. Haffaz declared his father President-For-Life and himself vice president following a free election, in which Aladeen won 99.999% of the vote.

Politics

The Wadiyan presidential palace.

During his presidency, Haffaz Aladeen continued to worsen his bitter relations with the West, by funding North Korean missile testing programs and degrading Wadiya's already low human rights record, such that British Prime Minister David Cameron supported a NATO mission to arrest Aladeen and bring him to justice for his crimes.

The government has advertised Wadiya as a state with a free and legitimate political system, citing the populations utter respect and support for the Aladeen regime, by funding numerous projects, such as decomissioning a 3,000 year old statue of the Golden Fertility Goddess and transforming it into a statue of Haffaz Aladeen, allegedly at the request of the public.

Numerous failed assasination attempts resulted in the US demanding Aladeen to address the United Nations in response to increasing global awareness over his regime. Aladeen did so, although he fell foul of a CIA project to render Aladeen unrecognisable by removing his key facial features such as his incredibly long beard.

MilitaryEdit

Convoy

A Military convoy in a Wadiyan desert.

Wadiya has a strong military government. The Supreme Leader, Haffaz Aladeen, has the titles Admiral, General and Colonel, though the last two are both army ranks. Military rallies have been held many times, and Aladeen continues to insist on wearing his military uniform every day, even on foreign visits. Senior government officials are generally military officers, and thus governmental desicions have always been made on a military ideaology.

A strong military has always been a necessity for the country, due to its violent history, dating as far as 3696 B.A., when Abrahamadeen fought Genghis Khan, a terrorist, over Wadiya. Following independence from Germany, Samak Sharif was executed a couple of hours after he assumed Wadiyan presidency. The recent events in neighbouring countries such as Somalia have also placed Wadiya under a threat of invasion. Thus, the military alliance of Haffaz Aladeen and his government have given his regime a strong foundation. Western efforts to end the regime have mostly consisted of CIA assasination attempts rather than a large scale invasion.

Military

A military escort arrive at the Wadiyan presidential palace.

The Wadiyan Military has recently opened up to international armed forces as a good destination for personal training and missile testing. The government allows sniper rifles and other military equipment to be tested on citizens in even the capital city, while desert land has been offered for large missile testing.

The military has aligned itself with the armies of North Korea especially, agreeing to sell the coal required for North Korea to build its UNHA-3 long range rocket, which has been frown upon by the West. Wadiya itself has an active space and nuclear weapons program. Admiral General Aladeen was formerly employed by the Wadiyan Space Agency, and the government claims that his work there was an uncontested success, as Aladeen managed to kill more astronauts than both the east and west combined. The country relies on its population and tourists to enrich Uranium for its nuclear weapons program. A prize of $100,000 has been offered to anyone who can successfully do so. Andrew, a tourist, then visited Wadiya, and then he was able to enrich the Uranium, making Aladeen take an interest in and becoming good friends with Andrew and he also gave Andrew that $100,000.

Admiral General Aladeen then made Andrew into a general of the Wadiyan military, and put him in charge of the entire Wadiyan WMD program (this includes nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons all together).

EconomyEdit

Wadiya has a poor economy due to the spendature of money away from the main requirements. Aladeen has agreed to fund North Korea's missile testing space program, and also has funded his own Wadiyan space program, which has tragically failed on multiple occasions, killing more astronauts than the US and the USSR combined.

Foreign investmentEdit

Wadiya has appealed for more foreign investment due to the economic impact of Western discontent and sanctions. Agreements have been made to use over 400,000 square miles of desert as a major dumping site for chemical waste, nuclear fuel and genocide victims. Missile testing on Wadiya's urban population has also been approved. Wadiya has also opened up its military training grounds to international armed forces, while offering exiled leaders and wealthy investors a place in Wadiya's many retirement homes.

TourismEdit

Wadiya offers several tourist attractions to invite foreigners, though the success and profit is unclear. The Wadiyan State Zoo is inhabited by some of the most endangered species in the world, which has presumably faced both criticism and fascination. Their innovations in cross species genetics has garnered them international attention by producing the world's first "Spirtle", a cross between a spider and turtle.

Wadiya also hosts the Wadiyan Science Museum, with several disputed exhibitions all allegedly invented by Supreme Leader Haffaz Aladeen. Such inventions include the light bulb, the swine flu vaccine, aerosol cheese and the rectal thermometer.

The Great Tribal Pyramid of Wadiya, believed to once be the home of the Qalatani people, is the last remaining historical site in Wadiya, due to Aladeen's major modernization efforts. The 3,000 year old statue of the Golden Fertility Goddess was replaced with a statue of Aladeen in response to public outcry.

The National Parliament Building has become a tourist attraction due to its disuse. Since the Aladeen regime barrs any political conference, the building is mostly empty and thus regularly visited by foreigners. Aladeen's government claims that the emptiness of the building is a result of an option and perfect government.  

The Sandland Theme Park and the National Museum of Sand are home to all four different types of sand in Wadiya, and although the West claims that the museum and theme park is simply a portion of desert around a fence, Aladeen claims otherwise, and invites the tourists to see the sand samples at the National museum, calling the Western allegations "corrupt Zionist media". The Wadiyan Museum of Tolerance is also open from 9am to 5pm every day, though it does not allow entrance to women, Jews or disabled people.

CultureEdit

MediaEdit

Television

Aladeen on Wadiyan state television.

One of the two main shows which are hosted by Wadiyan television is the weekly talk-variety show, Aladeen Hour, which is hosted by Haffaz Aladeen. The show lasts five hours and is repeated every evening of the week after airing each Wednesday. Another show is Wadiya's Next Top Model, where Aladeen hosts, judges and competes in, and has won for 14 years running.

Besides television, Wadiya has a growing film industry, though no films have yet been recognised by the Academy of Motion Pictures, Arts and Zionists. Wadiya's classic films include When Harry Kidnapped Sally, You've Got Mailbomb and Planet of the Rapes. Aladeen has stated that the academy has committed an act of aggression by not recognising these films, and has eaten too much cheese.

Wadiya also has many other television shows, such as Bobsponge Pantssquare, where fish do stuff underwater for Aladeen's amusement. There is also the Wadiyan edition Who Wants to be a Millionaire?. To date, only Wadiyan Supreme Leader Aladeen has won, and so has one of his sons and some weird guy.

Land UseEdit

Wadiyadesert

A vast desert in Wadiya.

Wadiya's land is mostly occupied by desert, which constitutes to over 400,000 square miles. The desert is used as an international dump, for genocide victims, used nuclear fuel or chemical waste. The Wadiyan National Forest is also surprisingly small, as it only contained one tree until 2012, to which the forest doubled in size to two trees after Aladeen planted an olive tree. Now there are more tress in Wadiya than before.

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